Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
