I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Everyone says I win the strip club
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
