My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
