Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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