I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
