Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
