i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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