she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just had sex on a roof
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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