We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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