I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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