I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize