Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
