When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
