What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
