And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
