Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
