Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
