I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
