Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
