I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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