problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
