May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize