What did we do last night that was yellow?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
