No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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