i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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