just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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