i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i came on her dog
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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