Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
