Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
