the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
