Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
