no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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