can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
