We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
