Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
