what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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