i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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