yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
