Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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