My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
