On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
