I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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