would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
