barbara walters just said penis...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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