News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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