i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
