Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
