Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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