I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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