She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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