Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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