let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
