Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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