ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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