I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Couch. On fire.
Randomize