You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
