I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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