The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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