That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
