Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
