so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
