Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
