I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
