A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
