Non-Jews are for practice
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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