You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
