Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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