When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Let's paint friendship bongs
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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