Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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