Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
