I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
