we have officially lost it.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
